Everything I Rely On To Survive Summer As A Fat Person

The official survivor guide for fat girls that want to slay this summer.

I fucking hate the summer.

There is nothing great about it. Sweat drips down my face, ruining my hair, people are sticky, and I am forced to interact outside "because the weather is nice."

This sentiment isn’t new. Here is proof from an old Thread:

The good thing about experiencing heat torture for over 30 years is that I have become an expert. I have learned to avoid chafing my legs, smell fresh 24/7, and deal with many other pesky issues caused by the heat.

I am sharing my holy grail products that help me survive summer as a sweaty Betty.

Moco De Gorilla ($8.97, Amazon)

If you wear your hair down in the Summer without melting, know that you are God’s favorite. The rest of us know to keep our hair up during the heat. Since sweating is inevitable, using a water-activated hair gel will make your hairstyle hold all day as you sweat.

O'Keeffe's For Healthy Feet Cream ($14.99, Amazon.com)

I can’t think of anything more embarrassing than having cracked dry heels in the summer! As much as I hate the heat, I love wearing open-toe shoes and since I come from a long line of dry feet baddies, I live by this product. When possible I apply the cream overnight or at least 1 hour before I have to head out. Just don’t forget to wear socks to allow the cream to work its magic. Soon you will have feet as soft as a baby’s bottom.

Cicapair Tiger Grass Camo Drops ($49, Sephora.com)

I avoid foundation in the summer since I’ll sweat it off after 30 minutes. However, as someone who deals with rosacea, I can’t just run out of the house with a bare face. The heat, sweat, and physical activities will make me look like a chunky, plump tomato. To combat this, I use a few drops of Tiger Grass Camo Drops, which evens out my skin tone and can replace foundation. When I need it to last all day, I apply a layer of translucent powder on top.

Lume Whole Body Deodorant ($18.40, Amazon.com)

I am very lucky not to smell from my armpits when I sweat. The rest of my body…well, I am only human. I put this deodorant on every crevice of my body, and it keeps me from being odorous for days. Trust me, I have pushed the limits of this product.

Pretty Well Sleep Bras ($29.92, Amazon.com)

You want me to wear a wired bra when I’m melting? Nice try, liberals.

In all seriousness, I don’t remember when I last put on a “proper” bra. I am here to say you don’t have to anymore. Sleep bras get the job done and feel so light. I don’t want to feel more layers on my skin while having a heat stroke.

Shapermint Convertible Strapless Bra ($34, Amazon.com)

If you think having straps is pushing it, I get it. Consider this strapless option. It has a padded insert that can be removed.

Anastas Beverly Hills Brow Freeze Eyebrow Wax ($26, Sephora.com)

Just because I feel horrible doesn’t mean I want to look the part. I still like looking polished and pretty in the heat. Vanity is my cross to bear.

I love the brow wax product from ABH. It allows me to achieve the effect of perfectly tweezed and laminated brows without having to fill them in. The Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Freeze Applicator ($17, Sephora.com) is sold separately, but they work so well together. I really enjoy the “spatula” side that allows me to press my brows neatly against my skin.

Megababe Thigh Rescue ($22.46, Amazon.com)

I could be walking to the corner store and I will still carry my Megababe Thigh Rescue. The product looks and applies like a classic deodorant bar and lasts for hours. They also sell a mini baby version if you need to carry it every day like I do. Get it here.

Megababe Bust Dust ($15.97, Amazon.com)

Don’t be fooled by the name of the product. This dust can be used everywhere! I love it under my boobs, but I need it under my stomach to protect my fupa. My side rolls also get some love too. I just hate the feeling of sweat on me. No sweat means no smell.

I take my chubby buddies’ survival tips very seriously, and I hope these have helped you and armed you to go out in this heat. Good luck, and may the heat Gods have mercy on our thighs.

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